By the Seat of My Pants was born out of my struggles to get this parenting thing right. I’m not shooting for perfection, mind you, just good enough, as they say.
My daughter came to me when she was five. We had lots of challenges. First off, she was a fully-formed little human with fully-formed opinions about things.
She also was incredibly observant, and realized right away that people stared when I held her hand in the grocery store. Perhaps they were staring because my fly was down. I fear, however, they were staring exactly why she thought they were: she is African-American, and I am very white.
Then there was the lesbian thing. “Why can’t I have a dad?” she asked me at least once a week during that first year. “Different families are made up in different ways,” I would tell her.
And we won’t even talk about–yet–the baggage I had to sift through to parent differently than the way I had been taught. It’s been by the seat of my pants, all right.
About Me
I live with my partner, my adopted daughter, her son, and a few too many small animals in upstate New York. I’m working on a memoir about adopting my daughter and the often rocky process of learning to become a good enough mother. I’m writing from my home office, which affords me a great view of the bird feeder and the woods and allows me to stay in my pajamas all day. I’m also rather unfortunately always available to wash baseball uniforms, whip up cookies for a bake sale, and make sure dinner is taken care of.